Jurassic World Rebirth Review

Dinosnoreeee haha just kidding (kind of)

Jurassic World Rebirth is perfectly fine. It's a popcorn summer blockbuster that's the reheated nachos of a franchise with nowhere to go. If you're expecting some decent dinosaurs and action set pieces, there are some thrilling sequences, but nothing you haven't seen before. A star-studded cast that does its best to lift this film, but all the interactions feel flat, and I never connected to any of the characters, outside of the fact that I do love the real-life Scarlett Johansson and Mahershala Ali; it's nice to see their faces on the big screen. Jurassic World Rebirth has received a devastatingly critical response, and I expected a seriously offensive reboot to the reboot. Still, it's truly inoffensive and a by-the-books Jurassic Park film that never comes close to capturing the magic of the original, and that's fine. Most general audiences will appreciate a nice, shut-your-brain-off time at the theater and have a pleasantly fun time with this.

Jurassic World Rebirth follows the previous film, Dominion, but due to the world's current climate, dinosaurs cannot exist just anywhere and have now migrated close to the equator. Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend), a pharmaceutical representative, asks covert mercenary Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson) to acquire dinosaur blood from the three largest dinosaurs on a remote island near the equator, which was once the research and development site for the original Jurassic Park. Zora teams up with dino expert Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) and former comrade Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali) to embark on a dino heist to help create a cure for heart disease using dino blood and earn a substantial amount of money in the process. On this perilous mission, the team encounters a family capsized by the island and joins forces, as now all must survive this creature-infested island and be on the lookout for mutations from the research and development team's experiments, which were abandoned years ago.

Garreth Edwards knows how to scale, and at times, it can be quite breathtaking in the sheer mass of some of the dinosaurs he's put on screen. However, I'm not sure if it's the framing or what, but I don't get that sense of awe I've seen in his previous work. Godzilla (2014), I could feel the terror from the size of that lad, or Rogue One (2016), how that final action set piece when the walkers are stomping down on the rebels, but even the T-Rex here felt tiny. The boat sequence, which pays massive homage to Jaws, was thrilling, and he was able to nail it. Still, the T-Rex chase sequence down the rapids had its moments, but I couldn't feel the same level of immersion that he's achieved in the past. Even The Creator (2023) had that gritty, realistic CGI that I could get into. He essentially tries to recreate the scene from the original film where they encounter the Brachiosaurus, but again, it lacks the wide-eyed look of the original, which I've said before is fine. Dinosaurs are still really fucking cool, even if the movie is trying to tell you that the public has lost interest which is something I can't wrap my head around as a story device. Some exciting and entertaining sequences, but all you've seen before. A scene in a convenience store is just the raptors in the kitchen; the mutations are just stuffed and pulled from the Jurassic World franchise, and the attempt to steal dinosaur DNA has been a concept from the original.

The script is just whatever. I love that we see a badass woman leading a major blockbuster like Johansson and still achieving major box office success, but man, does this script make everyone seem so weird and lame? There's just a flatness to it all. There's a bizarre scene with Johansson and Ali discussing her friend being blown up by a car bomb and his divorce and loss of a child, and to be honest, it's super strange. These are Oscar-winning and nominated actors doing a one-on-one, and I felt like I was on another planet. When these actors are shooting guns, swinging from cliffs, or being chased, the action is engaging, for sure, but the script is a significant disappointment. Bailey is nerdy fun, and Friend does the typical corporate evil dude well, which the franchise needs. I found the family to be annoying, and if we had focused more on the team and the DINO HEIST (which sounds exciting, but I wish it were more enjoyable), the film would have been more successful.

The franchise needs to take a turn for the weird or something. The major criticism is that it's a retread and doesn't add anything to the franchise, and that's fair. Edwards tries to do something with the mutations, but all that feels half-baked or half-measures. GET IN THERE, MAN. Give me Deep Blue Sea intelligent dinosaurs. Give me Tammy and the T-Rex switch a damn dino brain with humans. Put some lasers on the back of the raptor. Jurassic World Rebirth is a fine time at the theaters, and if you're looking for a fun time at the theaters with enormous dinosaurs on screen and generally okay action, you'll be satisfied. Still, if you're tired of your 100th reheated nacho from this franchise being milked to death, you may struggle.

Final Score: 6/10

Written by Kevin J. Pettit

Also, here's a photo of my aunt, my grandfather, his best friend, and me going to see it! My mom took the picture, and they all had a great time!